Shazam! (2019)
We should confess things before the tumblr bomb goes off like in a movie
Weasley family: we’ve only known harry for four and a half minutes but if anything happened to him we’d kill everyone in this train station and then ourselves
i just read a washington post article on romcoms aging poorly due to the pushiness (and oft-stalkery conduct) of the male characters therein, and it got me thinking about pride and prejudice, and specifically darcy saying, “one word from you will silence me on this subject forever.”
because, like, that’s the seldom-portrayed romantic dream in the patriarchal hellscape that is our world, isn’t it?
a dude being willing to say, “i understand if you don’t feel the same way about me, and i’ll leave you alone forever about this if my attention is unwanted.”
so simple, yet so wonderful in its basic human decency
and dudes to this day wonder why women still swoon over darcy
Note also: Elizabeth turns down Darcy’s first proposal, and in the process, accuses him of doing some stuff he did not do (and also some stuff he totally did).
The next day, he surprises her on her walk. He hands her a letter, asks that she read it, and then takes off.
When this happened to me after I had turned someone down IN REAL LIFE, the letter contained a passionate argument to the tune of “actually you’re wrong and you do like me and you should go out with me” and it was creepy af.
Darcy’s letter to Elizabeth starts with: “Be not alarmed, Madam, on receiving this letter, by the apprehension of its containing any repetition of those sentiments, or renewal of those offers, which were last night so disgusting to you”. He goes on to set the record straight about the stuff he didn’t do (as well as the stuff he did) which is *actually relevant* to Elizabeth. And he, as promised, doesn’t romance her further.
It’s totally bizarre that even now, this can be considered unusually great dude behaviour.
Darcy’s first proposal: “You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”
Darcy’s second proposal: “One word from you will silence me on this subject forever.”
His whole arc in the book is about learning to consider other people’s feelings and not just his own, but the fact that it’s expressed via who gets to talk and who is told to shut up is so, so telling. The first time around, he imposes his voice on her whether she wants it or not. The second time, he asks how she feels, and in exchange, offers her the gift of his silence.
And yeah, the fact that dudes still! have! not! learned! this! lesson! is exhausting.
How surprising is it that Pride and Prejudice was written by a woman, when many romantic comedies are produced and directed by men?
Answer: not at all
200 years later and the world is still full of guys who think they’re a Mr Darcy when they’re actually a Mr Collins.
200 years later and the world is still full of guys who think they’re a Mr Darcy when they’re actually a Ross Geller.
the grinch being in all these stupid advertisements contradicts the anti-consumerist nature of the grinch himself. the reason he hated christmas was because he thought the holiday was simply an expression of vain materialism. the grinch only loved christmas after he realized that christmas wasn’t actually about mundane consumption, but the selfless love of community. in this essay i will-
they’ve been playing the same goddamn M&Ms christmas commercial for the past 8 years
he does exist!
they do exist
oohh….*faints*
santa?
eight years what the fuck are you talking about that commerical is from 19-goddamn-96
thats not 8 years
that;s 18 years
WHAT
it’s that time of the year again. time to bring back this reminder.
okay but Campbell’s is still playing that one chicken noodle snowman one, right? And that one I remember from an even EARLIER age
from 1993.
thats 22 years ago
this commercial has been playing for 22 years.
thank you for reminding us all that the holiday ads never really change
okay but
this one’s from 1989
26 years
marketing strategy: if it ain’t broke don’t fix it
I Hear That’s Good
AM I HAVING A STROKE?
[Transcript:]
Left: Oh, you’ve seen Westworld right?
Right: Ah, no I haven’t. I need to, though, I hear it’s really good. I just haven’t been in the right mindset, y’know? I’ve been watching, uh, BoJack Horseman?
Left: Oh, I hear that’s good! I need to watch that. My comedy show right now is The Good Place?
Right: I never got into that one, but I hear good. Need to. Parks & Rec?
Left: No! Hear good, but need watch. Game of Thrones?
Right: Mm, never the episode need good. Breaking Bad?
Left: Hear that Bad good but need to mindset. Watch the Wire? You haven’t seen it?
Right: Need to watch I hear that’s but stand up for, don’t watch stand up kind.
Left: Not big into, but hear good, so maybe need to watch good?
Right: Watch, but no, so need to good sincere most mindset–
Both: John Mulaney!
Left: Love that guy!
Right: The Lobster sketch?
Left: So good.
Heres the thing you gotta understand about statistics.
“Increases your chances by 80%” does not mean “there is now an 80% chance”.
If your chances were previously 10%, your chances are now 18%, not 90%.
if your chances were roughly 1%, they’re now just slightly less than 2%.
thats how that works.
Wow I don’t understand math at all
“you can’t hold superheroes to real-world standards” is good advice, except when it comes to characters that i, personally, do not like. of course i’m not going to blame bruce for having a succession of twelve-year-old sidekicks, but you bet your ass i’m gonna castigate charles for training a bunch of sixteen-year-olds.